I Drank This: An Aloe Vera Drink with Mango!

2014-08-13 22.17.44Perhaps my first mistake was thinking, “Hey, this is only a dollar, why not buy it?” but it certainly was  a mistake to drink this infernal concoction.

This all happened on a chance grocery run to a local dollar store. Yes, I said grocery run … to a dollar store. It’s a small town, so quality grocery shopping requires an extended trip to the next city over. It is terrible for a foodie like me, so when I see something new there, it becomes even more alluring. On this particular trip, I spotted a small section of new beverages featuring Aloe Vera as a major ingredient.

Perhaps you’re more worldly than I am, but my immediate reaction was, You can drink that? I am no stranger to the stuff in lotion form – I am super white and the sun burns me fast if I don’t take precautions. Aloe Vera is the little relief a sunburnt white kid like me can easily find.

It was surprisingly not bad. AT FIRST. The Mango hid the fact that I was drinking what I am used to lathering my pink, inflamed flesh with. It has chunks of … something in it. Drinks shouldn’t be chunky. Ever.

The longer I drink it, the more pronounced the aloe flavor became. My mouth quickly began refusing access to the liquid. Soon, my lips rebelled too. The mango-y flavor was nice, but the medicinal taste of aloe overcame it over time and destroyed any interest I had in ever finishing.

Afterward, the inside of my mouth felt coated with a strange, slick substance. It was alien and unpleasant. It tasted exactly like I had swallowed a bottle of aloe vera gel, only a Trojan Horse called mango and the expectation that everything I buy at a grocery store be edible had misled me to do so.

I cannot, will not, and do not recommend.


5 thoughts on “I Drank This: An Aloe Vera Drink with Mango!

  1. Having recently cleaned out several aloe plant leaves, I couldn’t begin to imagine how the smelly, chunky goop would look at all appetizing. You are a brave soul.


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